Your Nightly Mash 6.23.26

     As an undisciplined person, or well, if you were to ask someone that knew me they may not say so; however, if you ask me I may just say so. Therefore, as an undisciplined person grasping at an end I'm uncertain I want (though it's better than the alternative, I believe), I will start journaling. 

I started with saying that "I made the decision to..." start journaling, but had to rewrite. Currently, my word is not my bond (liability? origin). I do not always do the things I say I will and that is something I'm working on. I ask people on occasion when my industry comes up, "how do you know your accountant is good?" As an accountant, I don't really have a good answer. I always think reputation. 

I think I'll do a video on Reputation and Honesty is the Best Policy in the coming quarter. I've really always questioned that adage. It's like Heaven in a way, almost sounds too good to be true. To be rewarded for behaving in an approved manner with honest business, too good to be true? And similarly to Heaven, those who enter have good reputations, but having a good reputation is in no way important to entering Heaven. 

It's late and I'm starting to listen to my feelings. I tried to put this off until I got more into a feasible state for beginning (procrastination), but if you recall from above, I lie to myself. I was cleaning out the old SD cards with old relations (~0.5 annum old) on them. There will always be more context to glean. Kind of my problem with Big Data. Am I really getting a better picture at the past, or am I just digging into the digital artifacting? 

It's interesting how the further I get away from a situation, the more I feel that I could have done more. At the moment, I take this to be a flaw in my character. I asked a relatively accomplished person that I encounter from time to time in my employment. This is a Harvard graduate, traveled extensively, assumingly wealthy. I asked him how he dealt with the feeling about always thinking one could have done better. For me, the instance a task ends, I imagine all the ways the new me with the information I have at completion could have done a project better. He flatly said, "I always do my best. These projects (the kind he works on) involve a whole host of people I have no control over. I can't control the outcomes of them, so I don't worry about it." That's a paraphrase as it has been a bit now. But wow, what an interesting perspective!